In a blog written on February 28th, 2014 divorce is not necessarily a failure, I discussed the view of Wendy Squires in an article titled “Here is reason to celebrate, divorce doesn’t equal failure” that divorce can be followed with something positive and that a relationship should not necessarily be deemed a failure because it ended.
In an article titled ‘The Unbridled Shower: Celebrating Divorce’ published on 14 September 2012 in the New York Times this concept of the end of a relationship as not necessarily a failure but something that can be a positive event in one’s life is taken even further.
The article discusses that in some circles people are throwing a ‘Divorce Shower’.
Mr Tom Carling, a Manhattan graphic designer states: “actually they called it an unbridled shower which is like a bridal shower for divorcees. Brides get stuff for the house. While I’ve got a party to replace the stuff that my ex had taken from the house.”
The article, written by a Judith Newman states that “the party stocked us up with some basic utensils, like a replacement set of nesting bowls…and gave a file of idiot proof recipes that would allow him to feed his teenage daughter or impress a date.”
For Mr Carling “the shower gave me the sense that I’d have the strength to move on.”
While Newman states that she is not saying that people are registering for Divorce the way they register for weddings there is a trend for post divorce parties, for example even a store in London Debenhams has an official Divorce Registry and some people “simply open their own Divorce Registry on site normally reserved for weddings”.
The article goes on to state: “planners of high-end parties are reporting a significant increase in the number of people celebrating the end of a marriage not with a whimper, but a bang.”
Newman reports that there are now also specialists in planning divorce parties and there are also websites where you can purchase goods for your divorce party such as light up devil horn tiaras, black long stemmed roses and other comedic bits and pieces.
Newman concludes by saying: “in a way, the rise of the Divorce Shower is not that surprising. With only about a 50/50 chance of a first marriage lasting …there seems to be a sudden desire to commemorate, and even celebrate, what has been an increasingly common milestone in people’s lives.”
I must say that anecdotally I have not come across many clients that throw large divorce parties.
However, I do acknowledge that some clients feel relieved and mixed emotions that can include relief following the finalisation of their matter or obtaining their Divorce Order.
Whilst you may not feel like actually throwing a party about the fact that you have divorced or separated from your significant other, it may be true that separation or divorce is a milestone in one’s life and certainly things change and do not stay the same after divorce or separation and one does need to re-evaluate what it is they want from their life in the future going forward.
Whilst it may seem irreverent to celebrate a divorce with a party, at the same time perhaps the article makes a point that people often approach divorce with a doom and gloom attitude whereas it can also be an opportunity to change and to re-evaluate one’s life generally. Also it may be the case that if possible, whilst in the midst of a difficult divorce one does need to maintain hope that life will get better or can get better in future.
If you have any questions in relation to divorce, property or parenting matters please contact us at Armstrong Legal to book in an initial obligation free appointment on 02 9261 4555.